We live in a world full of injustices. Every day the news is full of people in foreign nations suffering under oppressive rule or from debilitating poverty and hunger. But there is a person in our very nation, who yesterday, on America’s proudest day, suffered from both injustice and hunger that we have come to expect our nation is without. That man is of course Takeru Kobayashi, a competitive eater who on the most celebrated day in gluttony found himself without a competition. For those of you who don’t know, Kobayashi dominated the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest from 2001-2006, winning every year, including a 2001 performance that almost doubled the previous record from 25.5 to 50 hot dogs. In the three years following, it seemed Kobayashi had finally found a worthy competitor in Joey Chestnut, who bested him three consecutive years in some of the most exciting competitive eating ever witnessed (including a tie in 2008 that was decided in a 5 dog eat off, no doubt causing near heart attacks in fans and competitors alike). Kobayashi was barred from participating in this (and last) year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for refusing to sign a contract with Major League Eating that would have excluded him from participated in any events not sponsored by Major League Eating. Now in a virtual exile from the sport that he literally raised from nothing into the forefront of Americana and after having his photo taken down from the wall of fame of the event that he made famous, Kobayashi has lost neither his figurative nor literal hunger. This year, as the event took place live in Coney Island, Kobayashi was a few miles away on the rooftop of a Manhattan bar, eating along with the competitors (who were shown on a television next to him) in real time. In the ten minutes, he was able to consume 69 hotdogs, seven more than Chestnut this year, and one better than Chestnut’s reining record set in 2009.
I’m not saying that Kobayashi deserves to have his name placed next to the record, as some believe. The difference in settings very well may have affected the performances: Chestnut claims he does better in practice rounds when he doesn’t have the pressure of a competition, so Kobayashi’s skill may be overstated. I also think that Chestnut may have suffered two less than impressive years in 2011 and 2010 because he knows that no one can compete with him. If they were in the same competition who knows what would have happened? The fact, however, is that they were not. What’s most disappointing about this in my opinion, though, is the cover up perpetrated by ESPN on MLE’s behalf. Competitive eating doesn’t fit squarely within any one media outlet’s coverage (unfortunately a quick Google search suggests that as of yet there are still no competitive eating magazines out there), but if there was one place you would expect to find coverage of the news, it would be ESPN, which has broadcast the annual Fourth of July competition every year for as long as I can remember being interested in it. Unfortunately ESPN’s loyalty to MLE has kept them from any mention of Kobayashi’s feat on air or online. In fact a search of Kobayashi in their abysmal (for other reasons) search engine provides this neat did you know: “Masa Kobayashi is 1 of 1502 players to have played for the Cleveland Indians , a group that also includes Alan Ashby and Bennie Ayala.” (as a matter of fact, I did not know. Thanks ESPN) But no mention of our hero’s exploits. To me, this is reminiscent of when ESPN lost the rights to broadcast the NHL to Versus in 2005 and proceeded to cover up the existence of hockey by managing not to mention it whatsoever in the six years since. No longer will I let this stand!
This is America! People demand the truth! People demand competitive eating to actually be competitive! I will not stand for this! For this reason I am boycotting all further televised MLE events until Kobayashi is reinstated. I encourage you to join me in this movement. And as a reminder: I know I’ve painted Kobayashi to be the tragic hero of this whole mess, but the real victims out there are the children, who will grow up in a world where they have no concept of truth, honesty, or the real spirit of gluttony, all of which have come to define America’s greatness.
BV
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