Baldur Mundsson

Greetings, my name is Baldur Mundsson, and I am the greatest arguer you know. I spent my early childhood in the frigid lands of the north, debating with everyone I met on the most trivial of subjects, ranging from correct grammar to the length of the coastline of Great Britain (hint, its infinity.) After reading Atlas Shrugged, I realized my true calling in life was to travel the world, pushing the boundaries of everyday conversation by challenging just about everything anyone says. I embarked on my grand tour of Europe at the tender age of 15, spent a year in Amsterdam (where I found so much debate-worthy misinformation I was forced to set up residence,) before traveling to Japan where I infiltrated a Japanese family. My welcome quickly wore out after a particularly heated argument about the Japanese vs. American Showers (the former being mindboggling for a country that hovers around 98.5% humidity for 3 months out of the year.) I avoided a potential Samurai duel with my host-father and flew to California, where I began a one year cross-country trek. In a brief stint in prison, I met Bort, the first person worthy of my debate skills I have found to date. The rest is history; he suggested the creation of this blog with the intention of spreading truth to the world, while I'm just here to push your buttons.

Bort Valentine

Hello, my name is Bort Valentine.  I have always felt my purpose in life was to set people straight.  I am blessed with a great mind, and I feel I must give back to those who don't have the advantages that I do.  Most people, yourself included, don't understand this world in the way I do.  I was put on Earth to look upon our society and help it become better by critiquing it.  Until today, I focused on improving the world by going to crowded malls and shouting criticisms at imperfect passersby, but I realized no matter how much I improved those people lives, I could never spread my message far enough in such a manner.  Instead, I offer the following blog.  It is a collection of knowledge, advice, and criticisms from myself and some of my closest associates.

As for me, I grew up in New Jackson (Just 10 miles south of Old Jackson).  Upon graduating high school, I attended college, which I have yet to finish, as I went to prison for 3 years at the age of 20 for beating a man who argued with me that Thomas Jefferson was a better founding father than James Madison (he lost the argument, the fight, and all feeling from the waist down).  During my times in prison I passed the time by reading every major piece of English and American literature, studying the history of 6 of the 7 continents (Antarctica excluded), and continuing to master the board game go (I am currently a 5-dan amateur).  After emerging from prison a new man, I went on to be named the Time Magazine person of the year in 2006.  Realizing that I have both the knowledge and wisdom to change the world already, I did not return to school after my sentence.  I should be educating, not learning.  One day, I hope to open a school of my own where I can teach students not to be the mindless idiots that modern education is creating.  Until then, I consider this my school.  Welcome to class.

BV