Cold [ ] Hard [ ] Facts [ ]

Well, the NFL lockout ended this week, which means ESPN's Sportscenter will be bringing back all of our favorite NFL related segments, including one which aired yesterday for the first time since the lockout ended.  For those of you that have watched ESPN in the last 8 or so years, they have one recurring segment that bothers me more than any other (and if you read this blog enough, you’ll realize that that’s saying a lot): Cold Hard Facts.  For those of you unfamiliar with the segment, out of ESPN’s own mouth:

Coors Light "Cold Hard Facts" is a regular feature airing on SportsCenter on Thursdays at 6pm, 11pm and Fridays at 1am. In the feature, one of ESPN's top analysts tackles a "six pack" of questions related to the day's hottest topics.[1]

Shameless product placement aside, Cold Hard Facts really isn’t a bad idea.  During football season, for instance, it could be a great lead-in to the weekend games.  Six interesting facts wouldn’t be hard to come up with: Team B hasn’t won a game against Team B on the road in 16 years.  Quarterback A is has a 52 passer rating when Receiver A, who is injured, doesn’t play.  They could be interesting and offer insight about the upcoming games, and with only six for a whole week, it wouldn’t be much of a challenge to make them meaningful.  Instead they just ask one of their “experts” six questions all of which require answers that are opinions or predictions.  Not only is this stupid and pointless, since it’s the exact same thing they do every day on SportsCenter between highlights, and is in no way a special feature, but it’s the exact opposite of what it promises.  The segment is called “Cold Hard Facts;” shouldn’t it offer something remotely factual?  When I turn on Baseball Tonight I would be upset to find an entire episode dedicated to soccer, not to mention how pissed I’d be if every single show already only ever featured soccer.  Things have names for a reason.  I don’t call my website “Bort Valentine’s Cooking Blog.”  I know it’s just a weekly segment on SportsCenter, but come on, at least try to have it make sense.

On a different note, tomorrow we’ll be introducing our weekly Radio Shack “You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Answers” segment where we’ll take real emails sent by our readers and respond with an unrelated Oscar Wilde quotation.

BV

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[1] http://mediakit.espn.go.com/index.aspx?s7=68&id=98

ESPYs and Emmys

I just want to chime in here quickly about last night’s ESPYs and today’s Emmy nominations.  Regarding the ESPYs, I wasn’t expecting much, and was actually pleasantly surprised by the results.  The problem with the ESPYs is that it’s done by a fan vote, and most fans don’t vote based on statistics or and form of reality, but whatever they like or think is cool.  Case in point, Blake Griffin winning breakout athlete of the year over Arian Foster who led the NFL in rushing yards and TDs or Jose Bautista who easily has the highest OPS in the entire MLB.  Griffin on the other hand was 15^th in Player Efficiency Rating (it’s not a perfect stat, but it is the most comprehensive), while playing for an under .400 team.  On the other hand, he can jump really high, so I guess you have to take that into consideration.  The other winner I disagree with is Rory McIlroy, who won best male golfer and best record-breaking performance, neither of which he deserves.  He’s a great golfer, and will likely be deserving of these awards in the future, but he’s only won 2 PGA events in his life, and has never been ranked better than 4 in the world.  And his record-breaking performance is all relative: he did it in the lowest scoring US Open of all time (Don’t have time to look that up right now, but pretty certain it’s true.  Correct me if I’m wrong); scoring -16 when ten players were -4 or better doesn’t even compare to something like Tiger’s 2000 performance when he was -12 and the next best was +3.  The thing is, the PGA wants a new Tiger so badly, that everyone is caught up in believing McIlroy is already the greatest thing on earth.  I can’t believe I’m actually going to argue for the merits of Women’s basketball in my lifetime, but the Uconn Ladies team really deserved this record due in part to a pretty weak year for records.  My final complaint goes to ESPN, who when nominating male athletes of the year did not nominate a single of the 5 MVP winners across the four major sports.  I understand the playoffs are the most important, but how about giving credit to the players who kept it together for an entire season instead of getting hot for a few weeks?  Nowitzki wasn’t a bad pick for the win though.

Emmy time.  I’m admittedly not a big TV watcher, although I must say I think the medium is hitting a new golden age now that they’ve replaced most of the reality TV with real shows, or at least moved them off to fringe channels.  I don’t know how “The Office” was nominated for best comedy after it’s precipitous decline in quality in the last few seasons (Especially if they didn’t think it was worth a win back when it really was the best comedy on television.  I would’ve liked to have seen “Community” or “Louie” in its spot (or both of them and no “Big Bang Theory”).  Drama nominations seem fine, and I’d love to see “Boardwalk Empire” pick that one up, though they’re all pretty deserving.  Male lead in a drama should be interesting this year as Bryan Cranston is finally letting someone else have a chance due to “Breaking Bad’s” late start (Kind of wish Sean Bean was nominated for “Game of Thrones”).  As for male lead in a comedy, I don’t know why Louie C.K. is up there.  I love Louie C.K. but I think even he’d agree that his show isn’t great because of his acting.  He’s not bad, but he really should have had a show nomination and not an acting nomination.  As for the rest, I really don’t care.  Just some thoughts.  I’ll have a real post on later tonight.

BV

Injustice Anywhere is a Threat to Justice Everywhere

                We live in a world full of injustices.  Every day the news is full of people in foreign nations suffering under oppressive rule or from debilitating poverty and hunger.  But there is a person in our very nation, who yesterday, on America’s proudest day, suffered from both injustice and hunger that we have come to expect our nation is without.  That man is of course Takeru Kobayashi, a competitive eater who on the most celebrated day in gluttony found himself without a competition.  For those of you who don’t know, Kobayashi dominated the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest from 2001-2006, winning every year, including a 2001 performance that almost doubled the previous record from 25.5 to 50 hot dogs.  In the three years following, it seemed Kobayashi had finally found a worthy competitor in Joey Chestnut, who bested him three consecutive years in some of the most exciting competitive eating ever witnessed (including a tie in 2008 that was decided in a 5 dog eat off, no doubt causing near heart attacks in fans and competitors alike).  Kobayashi was barred from participating in this (and last) year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for refusing to sign a contract with Major League Eating that would have excluded him from participated in any events not sponsored by Major League Eating.  Now in a virtual exile from the sport that he literally raised from nothing into the forefront of Americana and after having his photo taken down from the wall of fame of the event that he made famous, Kobayashi has lost neither his figurative nor literal hunger.  This year, as the event took place live in Coney Island, Kobayashi was a few miles away on the rooftop of a Manhattan bar, eating along with the competitors (who were shown on a television next to him) in real time.  In the ten minutes, he was able to consume 69 hotdogs, seven more than Chestnut this year, and one better than Chestnut’s reining record set in 2009.

                I’m not saying that Kobayashi deserves to have his name placed next to the record, as some believe.  The difference in settings very well may have affected the performances: Chestnut claims he does better in practice rounds when he doesn’t have the pressure of a competition, so Kobayashi’s skill may be overstated.  I also think that Chestnut may have suffered two less than impressive years in 2011 and 2010 because he knows that no one can compete with him.  If they were in the same competition who knows what would have happened?  The fact, however, is that they were not.  What’s most disappointing about this in my opinion, though, is the cover up perpetrated by ESPN on MLE’s behalf.  Competitive eating doesn’t fit squarely within any one media outlet’s coverage (unfortunately a quick Google search suggests that as of yet there are still no competitive eating magazines out there), but if there was one place you would expect to find coverage of the news, it would be ESPN, which has broadcast the annual Fourth of July competition every year for as long as I can remember being interested in it.  Unfortunately ESPN’s loyalty to MLE has kept them from any mention of Kobayashi’s feat on air or online.  In fact a search of Kobayashi in their abysmal (for other reasons) search engine provides this neat did you know:  “Masa Kobayashi is 1 of 1502 players to have played for the Cleveland Indians , a group that also includes Alan Ashby and Bennie Ayala.” (as a matter of fact, I did not know.  Thanks ESPN) But no mention of our hero’s exploits.  To me, this is reminiscent of when ESPN lost the rights to broadcast the NHL to Versus in 2005 and proceeded to cover up the existence of hockey by managing not to mention it whatsoever in the six years since.  No longer will I let this stand!

                This is America!  People demand the truth!  People demand competitive eating to actually be competitive!  I will not stand for this!  For this reason I am boycotting all further televised MLE events until Kobayashi is reinstated.  I encourage you to join me in this movement.  And as a reminder: I know I’ve painted Kobayashi to be the tragic hero of this whole mess, but the real victims out there are the children, who will grow up in a world where they have no concept of truth, honesty, or the real spirit of gluttony, all of which have come to define America’s greatness.

BV