Bort Valentine

Hello, my name is Bort Valentine.  I have always felt my purpose in life was to set people straight.  I am blessed with a great mind, and I feel I must give back to those who don't have the advantages that I do.  Most people, yourself included, don't understand this world in the way I do.  I was put on Earth to look upon our society and help it become better by critiquing it.  Until today, I focused on improving the world by going to crowded malls and shouting criticisms at imperfect passersby, but I realized no matter how much I improved those people lives, I could never spread my message far enough in such a manner.  Instead, I offer the following blog.  It is a collection of knowledge, advice, and criticisms from myself and some of my closest associates.

As for me, I grew up in New Jackson (Just 10 miles south of Old Jackson).  Upon graduating high school, I attended college, which I have yet to finish, as I went to prison for 3 years at the age of 20 for beating a man who argued with me that Thomas Jefferson was a better founding father than James Madison (he lost the argument, the fight, and all feeling from the waist down).  During my times in prison I passed the time by reading every major piece of English and American literature, studying the history of 6 of the 7 continents (Antarctica excluded), and continuing to master the board game go (I am currently a 5-dan amateur).  After emerging from prison a new man, I went on to be named the Time Magazine person of the year in 2006.  Realizing that I have both the knowledge and wisdom to change the world already, I did not return to school after my sentence.  I should be educating, not learning.  One day, I hope to open a school of my own where I can teach students not to be the mindless idiots that modern education is creating.  Until then, I consider this my school.  Welcome to class.

BV